9.10.2010

Speak Human or die.

Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!




Idle chatter sounds much better to the absent mind. Govern me, kill thy master. You will not enslave me. The root is bitter but the fruit is sweet but not exempt from criticism. Small pox friendship, you die I take. You are the new slave. 


Don't call me God. I don't have a disease. DON'T CALL ME GOD!

What is cold to you is love to me, to me.

Savior seething rolling you in. Cherub in red said there's nothing to see here. Hallowed be who art in heaven. I refuse to call that fucker by name.
Converge - Antithesis


Fuck, man. I woke up after falling asleep on the couch and the dog had to shit, but now I can't get back to sleep at all and now I keep milling about some wretched, despised, obnoxious, cunty old trash bag of a creature who I talked to at work today on the phone. I don't understand why it bothers me, because I talk to so many total fucking idiots, but I must say, some assholes seem to have no concept of how to communicate with a human. I want to know how this happens.

I answer a transferred call with a, "thank you for holding, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, what kind of computers do you sell there?"

"...Dell, Sony, Toshiba, Gateway, HP, all the major manufactures."

"I bought a fuckin piece of shit Acer there and nobody will fuckin fix it. Why would you sell me a piece of shit that no one will work on and make me get a fucking shitty computer?"

So far, ba- off to a bad start.

"Acer is same as Gateway, and they all use the same types of hardware, so I'm not sure why anybody wouldn't be able to work on it, but what's going on with it?"

"(a bunch of huffed swearing and unintelligible references to nonfunctioning icons) and all I use this fucking thing for is games."

Well, anyway, this went on for way too long because I was way too patient, which was completely fruitless, but I suggested her only apparent option several times, which was to bring this thing in to the one location I knew would doubtlessly work on it, or to buy a new one, as it was outside any warranty, etc, and I ended up hanging up on her after telling her I was unable to help her if she couldn't stop cackling.

Cut to this salty old man walking in with, just an ancient Dell laptop.

"Yeah this thing is about ten years old and it won't play most of my DVD's, it's really sliding downhill."

"The laser's going bad, you can buy a USB DVD drive for about fifty bucks."

"I don't want to put that kind of money in this thing, I only used it for twenty hours, and the guy I got it from only had it about a year!"

"Things tend to work until they stop working..."

What am I supposed to do, lick peoples' buttholes and give them free computers? Absolutely, I'll just mail you a new one since you refuse to speak to me civilly and come into the store with your out-of-coverage products.

What is it, a full moon out?

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