RHES U.S. Monkey Repair Shop!!!

Comic Revelation!

When Pigs Fly

(click for full size)

I know what you're thinking... his snout looks like a flash drive.

The joke here is he becomes a computer virus.

ielol.exe: Internet LOL

in Old English, a period (.) was used to denote the end of a sentence.
in modern English, "lol" is used to end a sentence lol


GUYS, STORY TIME
SO my teacher's friend's friend or something
She was dogsitting one day
Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the floor, right?
how embarrassing
SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it in a freaking SUITCASE
She didn't have a car so she has to take the train through Chicago
oh mannnn
This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
"this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
lady replies "just some computer things"
the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE CASE
ROFLMAO ROFLROFLROFL!!!
OMG ROOOOOOOOOFL
AHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???Comment: True story.


Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.


(meander) Newfoundland is like calling a place Untitled Document
(meander) i bet its the default name for discovered land
(meander) and they just clicked Ok
(meander) now all other countries have to start out as Newfoundland 2

Just for fun...

I wrote this to post for a girl on facebook, but I haven't updated this LET ALONE posted any comics lately, so:

Fuck is wrong with me?

So at first, Phil and I were in a club/bar/possible casino, ordering shot after shot and getting chased and yelled at by an angry bartender and various other staff. They were refusing to give us more drinks, and presumably trying to kick us out. I somehow weaseled my way behind the bar however, and disguised my voice, convincing the same bartender to prepare me two shots, which I promptly carried with me to the circular table that Phil was sitting at with a few other, inconsequential people.

We drank them, and they tasted like cake. Then Phil got out his brief case or laptop, not quite sure, and we continued with some project that I don't remember starting, but knew we had previously done work on it.

Apparently, the business we were working with was pretty much disabled by a computer virus infection, and we were calling office after office, on one of those brick cell phones from maybe early nineties or even late eighties... without being able to communicate this disaster, because, of course, everyone spoke some Asian dialect, with thick accents.

Anyway, we left our table, stumbling until we left the room, then became instantly sober as I recall, and found ourselves in a hallway lined with office and reception rooms. We stopped at several doors for assistance, but again and again... Asians.

Finally, a timid, but helpful-looking and cute (still Asian) girl, about our age, asked what we needed assistance with, and when we quickly explained our situation, she apologized in broken English, and I was looking her in the eye when she gave a very quick, mixed expression directly to me. No smile or frown, it was all in the eyes. It was of frustration, with just a hint of anger or disgust, but also a calming look, but even felt like a look of desperation and it seemed to be meant to be confusing. I read it as her blowing us off, unable to explain her end of the conversation, or perhaps even unable to understand our end. Then she turned, walking out the end of the hallway, mumbling something that was not at all our language. I realized just then that everyone we'd spoken with, over the phone, in the offices, etc. in regards to our dilemma, was giving us the same response, because I recognized the phonetic pattern in the last sentence she said. It was something like, "jo-ways justy ill-et..."

...This phrase circled in my thoughts for awhile, over and over, it felt like five minutes that it just processed, but it all happened in an instant, because she barely got one foot out the door, and had never stopped moving. I stopped her from exiting the door and pleaded that she explain herself in English, to which she looked me in the eye, repeated herself with the same identical expression in her eye. "Jo-ways justy ill-et," she again said, then shrugged, silently indicating something to the effect of "ya know," and said, "don't worry. It's just the internet."

At the same time I understood and didn't at all, and felt one of my very favorite emotions (from waking life, I can only explain it as epiphany realization) and I just said, "you know, you're fuckin' cute when you're angry," ... I grabbed her, and kissed her. It lasted maybe a minute or only thirty seconds. Time flew, and it was infinitely awkward, while still inviting and enjoyable. During this time, my problems seemed to be solved, and all other worries went elsewhere. The room was spinning, and all the walls, and people, including Phil, who was last seen right behind me, flew off into their respective three dimensional distances. She was definitely kissing back from the beginning, but in the end we both suddenly pulled back and vomited.

I woke up.

Windows over 9000, Day 1

Here's my first experience with Windows 7 on my own time. The new mspaint. It was scary at first, there are new buttons, which surprised me (mostly autoshapes and new fill options), but all I wanted to know is if I could use it the way I used to, which I can. I still, however, have a standalone copy of mspaint 2000 and XP.

I did a clean install, because I wanted to clean out my primary disk anyway. Windows updates found almost all my laptop drivers smoothly. Toshiba supports 7 on my model, and had a drivers and apps download waiting for me, which finished the process. You know, come to think of it, this was actually as easy a process as i thought my first time formatting would be. I expected some bumps... and having done countless upgrades already at work, I've seen a few. But not for me.

I grabbed the Google Chrome App data folder beforehand, and copied it over to the new install, and it was like I never stopped using it-- all my favorites, passwords, history, etc were there. way to go!

So anyways, I just wanted to post my new mspainting. :-)

Hopes, Wishes, Plans, Dreams...

During my dream last night, I did a lot of amazing shit. the only thing I can remember, however, was rappelling down the side of a giant cruise ship's hull, destination escape kayak.

I have seen and heard quite a bit about cruise ship vacations, and never really been interested in experiencing it myself.

I now want to do this.

What I WILL get for xmas, even if no one gets it FOR me.

Abstruse Goose "Fuck Science" shirt

From this comic (click the panels and read on)

and, as I've mentioned on here before,

xkcd "Science" shirt
From this comic.

That is all.

god damn it anyway

I think I want some more books, after reading quite a bit on Google Books, mostly getting into the first on this list...

Temple Grandin, Catherine Johnson:
Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals
Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior
(SOUNDS FUCKING INTERESTING RIGHT?!)
also:
Richard Dawkins:
The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution
The Blind Watchmaker: Why The Evidence of Evolution Reveals a Universe Without Design

Here's something else I've been visiting and revisiting online:

Self Discovery Day

So today I was checking out some Google tools, most notably Google Sites and knol (a unit of knowledge - user submitted articles on whatever they know about). I decided to do a search for Crohn's on knol, and found:

"many patients mistakenly restrict dairy products and fruit and vegetables in their diet..." (most people who know me know that once diagnosed with Crohn's disease, I developed a self-diagnosed allergy to milk and pork (particularly sausage) products. (But I still eat pepperoni/cheese pizza like a motherfucker)

So then I looked up lactose intolerance on regular Google, and found on Wikipedia:

Lactose (also present when labels state lactoserum, whey, milk solids, modified milk ingredients, etc.) is a commercial food additive used for its texture, flavour and adhesive qualities, and is found in foods such as processed meats (sausages/hot dogs) etc.

...So I thought to have found an explanation about the sausage, but what about cheese?

all all all---alright!

Fermentation and higher fat content contribute to lesser amounts of lactose in many cheese products. Also, I eat yogurt without issue normally, and found that, "sour cream and ice cream, like yogurt, if made the traditional way, may be tolerable, but most modern brands add milk solids." (Which must be why I can't has ice cream.)

Fun with science!

Some more StumbleUpon, and philly meanderings...

http://www.dothedaft.com/idaft/

The Three Wills to Life:

logos: meaning

macht: power

hedon: pleasure

time is relative

physics is always calculating

information has no inherent meaning

life is absurd

stars

When the lights go down in the city
and the sun shines on the bay
do I wanna be there in my city?

Some Fun Things I Bought!

Two books:
The Flying Circus of Physics by Jearl Walker
Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman


Five DVDs/sets:
The Universe: Complete Season Three
NOVA: Origins with Neil deGrasse Tyson
Richard Dawkins: Growing Up in the Universe
Stephen Hawking's Universe
Stephen Hawking - God, The Universe, and Everything Else / Carl Sagan


and, since Phil and I just bought a ps3, a Bluray:
Planet Earth: The Complete BBC Series